Sunday, November 15, 2009

Dear Character, I'm Sorry

As promised, here's my favorite NaNoWriMo game of them all: Dear Character, I'm Sorry. In which you write letters to your characters apologizing to them for what you've done to them/what you will do to them/how terrible your book is.

Dear Rafe,

I'm sorry that I had to make you kind of a jerk. You are not a jerk. You're just in love with two different women. And everyone's real mad at you right now. Sorry. I promise it'll get better and, more importantly, you'll end up with the one you want to end up with. And you just might save the world.

Dear Dinara,

I'm sorry I broke your heart. You didn't do anything wrong (except maybe you're a little superficial, but that's okay!). I'm also sorry that I wrecked your Midsummer Festival. I know you worked hard on it. To make it up to you, I'm going to write in a guy for you. An awesome guy. Way better for you than Rafe. Just wait. He's coming.

(Oh, and I'm also sorry that Rafe and Embery are about to use you for your family's money. Just go with it. It'll all work out.)

Dear Embery,

I'm sorry I broke your heart. Rafe's coming around, just wait. If you can forgive him (and you can forgive him), he'll make it up to you. He needs you to save the world! I'm also sorry that I had to have your little sister kidnapped by the evil Snow White. I know how important she is to you. ALSO, I'm sorry you haven't been more kick-butt. I meant for you to be, but except for that knife-throwing thing, you just haven't been. I promise you'll do better in the second half.

Dear Sam,
CC: Nathan

I'm sorry that you haven't hardly been in this book at all. I was so excited to write you, but then my story kind of went a different way and now I realize that maybe I don't need you at all. You'll pop back in before the end, I'm sure.

Dear Snow White,

I'm not sorry that you're evil because that's kind of what this whole story is about. I am sorry that you've gotten hardly any screen time and that you're kind of a mindless evil monster. Maybe if I revise this book I'll give you a larger role. Thanks for being deliciously creepy.

Your Author